Doing stuff rocks. A big thank you goes out to the janitor philosopher who, as cheesy as it may sound, put me on a right track of sorts.
As amazing and warm and sunny as the last few days have been, I'm feeling a little depressed now. It's a whole slew of things that make me want to curl up into a ball now, so here goes...
The first thing, is more humourously explained by a story I read a while ago [Edit: an Afgan folk tale apparently]. The basic plot is, a traveler walking down the street sees a boy crying on the side of the road. The boy had a quarter to go to the candy store and lost it, and the traveler gives him another quarter. The boy skips away all happy, and the traveler goes on his way. A few steps away, he turns around to see the boy sitting down again and crying even harder. He asks him what?s the matter since he has a quarter now, and boy cries "Yeah, but if I hadn?t lost the first one, I'd have two!!"
It made more sense in my head anyway...But the point is, it's such a great time now and we wasted so many icky winter months doing nothing. Though, walking twenty minutes for ice cream wouldn't have been as appealing in December.
It all started with me looking through old pictures while cleaning my room. They're all pictures from a completely different place than I'm at right now. I suppose it has been a little taboo to talk about or whatever, but the fact is everything has changed a lot for me from grade eight. A lot of my friends are different, and looking at the pictures from Quebec and Sasaki's class just made me kinda sad. Most of the time I'm really happy and know that it can't get any better, but the rest of the time I feel like such a fake. I can't really explain why, but it just feels like I don't belong anywhere. It's as if all the good stuff on the surface doesn't translate deeper down. Put down in words, it does seem a little more dreary than it should, so don't take me too too seriously.
Over top of that, I realized so many people are leaving next year that I may never get a chance to see again. And on the one hand they're people I want to hang out with, but on the other I don't want to get to know them any better because it'll be worse when they leave.
Or maybe, it's not really that complicated at all, and it's just a case of everything's going great so something's bound to screw up soon.
Luckily, this isn't that crippling, every thought occupying sort of sad, it's just a nagging feeling at the back of my mind. I plan to forget it all and drown myself in a giant bowl of popcorn I'm not supposed to eat and watch the Oscars.
Predictions: Lord of the Rings will make me angry for winning too much.
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