Friday, January 28, 2005

holy teenagerly angst batman!

That’s it. No more boys. No more girls. No more of that part of my personality that tends to get me into trouble. I’m sick of investing more than I need to; having larger expectations that I should; getting walked all over. I have a tendency to base everything on just a look, just a feeling, just a big fat nothing. You’d think I’d learn form, like, grade 8 or whenever I started pretending like what I was doing was ok. But no. I hate having to run around cleaning up my image, or worse walking around like I don’t care. I hate being lied to. I hate lying to myself. I hate pretending like I didn’t want something more when nothing could be farther from the truth. It turns out I’m not good at judging people, and that’s directly related to me not being able to protect myself. It seems like the second I decide to open up only the most misguided of individuals decide to take that opportunity to mess up some more. It’s not their fault, it’s mine. Maybe I just need someone to prove me wrong.

posted by Jelena | 9:00 PM

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