GAH, I'm bored. aaahahaha
Q. Who is the most popular guy at the nudistcolony?
A. The guy who can carry a cup of coffee in eachhand and a dozen donuts.
There is this guy who has this major crush onthis girl that works at the bar he hangs out at.He would love to talk to her but every time he sees her he gets the biggest boner. One day he noticed her behind the bar and quickly sat on abar stool. He felt this was the perfect chance to talk to her knowing that if he got a boner itwould be hidden under the bar top. They get to talking and he finally asks her out. She said yesand the man was ecstatic, he said he would pick her up at 8 Saturday night.
Saturday when he pulled up to the front of the house he remembered his problem and new when she came to the door he would be so embarrassed.
Thinking quickly he reached into the glove compartment and pulled out a piece of twine, pulled down his pants and tied his penis tohis leg. He then went up the steps and rang the door bell.
She came out and they walked to the car he openedthe door for her and just as she was about to step in she dropped her purse. She had a very short black dress on and when she bent over topick up her purse he ended up kicking her in the forehead.
One day Peggy Sue was in bed with her lover whenher husband came home unexpectedly. She told herlover to get in the corner and she quickly proceeded to rub baby oil all over him and thensprinkle talcum powder on him. "Stay right hereand don't move a muscle until I tell you it's ok," she told him.
A few minutes later her husband came walking intothe room. "What the heck is this in the corner?"he asks her. "Oh that's a new statue I just bought," she replied. "The Smith's have one just like it intheir bedroom and I liked it so much I went outand bought one for myself." Nothing more was said about the statue, not even when they finally got ready and went to bed.
About 2:00 in the morning, the husband got up andwent downstairs and got himself a sandwich and aglass of milk. When he got back up to the bedroom, he handed the sandwich & milk to the statue and said "Here, you might as well have this. I spent 3 days at the Smith's house and nobody so much as offered me a glass of water."
I like being in my house only when it's not mandatory...
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